San Fernando Valley Cocaine Anonymous

We are not a glum lot.

As addicts we take the disease of addiction very seriously
As it states on page 149 of the 12x12, we don't take ourselves too seriously.

Notes from Recovery

1. It's not old behavior if I'm still doing it.
2. An addict is a person who wants to be held while he's isolating.
3. Addiction is the leading cause of relapse.
4. A treatment center is where you go and pay a big pile of money to find out that CA meetings are free.
5. This is a ' JUST FOR TODAY' program.
If you are clean today, you are tied for first place in CA.
6. If USING is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy USER.
If work is interfering with your USING, you're probably an ADDICT.
7. I often obsessively pursue feeling good, no matter how bad it makes me feel.
8. How come if DRUGS kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to USE?
9. If God were small enough to be understood, He wouldn't be big enough to be God!
10. If you want to quit USING; you are going to have to quit USING.
11. Newcomer: How do I know how many meetings I should attend each week? Old-timer: Gradually cut back until you USE.
Then you'll know.
12. I would rather go through life CLEAN, believing I am an ADDICT, than go through life USING (HIGH), trying to convince myself that I am not an ADDICT.
13. Resentments are like stray cats: if you don't feed them, they'll go Away.
14. The difference between a problem USER and an ADDICT is that:
    • When DRUGS are taken away from the problem USER, the problem goes away.
    • When DRUGS are taken away from the ADDICT, the problem begins.
15. Before I came into CA, I was dead, but I did not know enough to lay down.
16. I can't do His will my way.
17. In order to change the way we feel we need to change the way we act.
18. The good news is you get your emotions back; the bad news is you get your emotions back.
19. All we ask is that you completely change your attitude as soon as possible.
20. I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all.
21. Joy isn't the absence of pain . . .
    it's the presence of God.

A Reason to STOP

Two guys are picked up by cops for drugs and are given the oppurtunity to walk only if they convince ten other guys not to do drugs. They both agree and set off.

The first male comes back and says "I got the ten guys, but it wasn't easy". The cop asks how he did it. "I drew a large circle and then a small circle and said the large circle was your brain and the small circle was your brain on drugs."

The second male comes back and says "I got 42 guys to quit drugs!" The cop impressed, asks how did he do it? "Well basically the same system as the first guy but I drew the small circle first and said, "You see the small circle is your butt hole before you go to jail and the large circle is after you have been to jail."

When I do a hit of cocaine, I feel like a new man . . .
Then 10 minutes later the new man wants a hit . .
So I do a hit of cocaine and I feel like a new man
10 minutes later THAT guy wants a hit . . .
So I do a hit of cocaine and I feel like a new man
10 minutes later THAT guy wants a hit . . .
So I do a hit of cocaine and I feel like a new man
10 minutes later THAT guy wants a hit . . .
So I do a hit of cocaine and I feel like a new man
10 minutes later THAT guy wants a hit . . .
So I do a hit of cocaine and I feel like a new man
10 minutes later THAT guy wants a hit . . .
Get it?

Expectations = Resentments under construction

"Jeopardy" must have been invented by a drug addict.
Who else starts out with all the answers
and no questions?

The Anti-Promises

(the following is not in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, so don't look for it)

If we are casual with this phase of our development, we will be loaded before we are halfway through.
We are going to know a new imprisonment and a new misery.
We will relive the past and won't be able to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word CONFLICT and we will know PAIN.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we'll sink even lower.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will deepen.
We will gain interest in selfish things and lose interest in our fellows.
Self esteem will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will SUCK.
Fear of people, and of economic insecurity will multiply.
We will intuitively know how to run from situations which never used to bother us.
We will suddenly realize that God would never have done to us what we are doing to ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not! They are being fulfilled among those of us who are still using --sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will ALWAYS materialize, IF WE KEEP USING FOR THEM. Guaranteed.

"Rationalization is like masterbation --
You are only screwing yourself!"

The 12 Steps of Relapse

1. I decided I could handle any emotional problems if other people would just quit trying to run my life.
2. I firmly believe that there is no greater power than myself and anyone who says differently is insane.
3. I made a decision to remove my will and my life from God, who didn't understand me anyway.
4. I made a searching and thorough moral inventory of everyone I know, so they couldn't fool me and take advantage of my good nature.
5. I sought these people out and tried to get them to admit to me, by God, the exact nature of their wrongs.
6. I became willing to help these people get rid of their defects of character.
7. I was humble enough to ask these people to remove their shortcomings.
8. I kept a list of all the people who had harmed me, and waited patiently for a chance to get even.
9. I got even with these people whenever possible except when to do so would get me into trouble.
10. I continue to take everyone's inventory and when they are wrong, which is most of the time, I promptly make them admit it.
11. Sought through the concentration of my willpower to get God, who didn't understand me anyhow, to see that my desires were best, and He ought to give me the power to carry them out.
12. Having maintained my emotional problems with these steps, I can thoroughly recommend them to others who don't want to lose their hard-earned status, but wish to be left alone to practice neurosis in everything they do for the rest of their days.

God grant me the laughter
to help me see the past with perspective,
face the future with hope,
and celebrate today---
without taking myself too seriously.

First I was addicted to cocaine....
then alcohol....
then prescription drugs....
then nicotine....
then caffeine....
then to gambling...
then to spending....
then to members of the opposite sex....
Altogether that's NINETY-SIX STEPS I'm working!

A sponsor and his newcomer were at a meeting when the newcomer suddenly collapsed, went into cardiac arrest and fell to the floor. The paramedics arrived, performed CPR and brought the newcomer back to life. "My GOD!", said the sponsor. "I thought we had lost you". The newcomer looked up and told his sponsor, "I believe I was actually dead for a short time. I saw a bright light and felt myself basking in the light of my higher power. I'm sure it was heaven. It was an amazing experience!" "What was heaven like?" asked the sponsor. The newcomer smiled and replied, "Well, I got good news, and I got bad news. The good news is that in heaven they have a huge speaker meeting every Thursday night. All the greatest CA speakers that have passed away speak there". "And the bad news?", asked the sponsor. The newcomer looked his sponsor in the eyes and replied, "The bad news is that you're the speaker next week".

Sobriety didn't open the gates of Heaven for me to let me in,
but it sure opened the gates of Hell to let me out.

Being of service is like wetting your pants,
everybody sees it,
but you're the one who feels the warmth